Sunday, November 05, 2006

In for a penny...

So Adam's comment on my last post filled me with guilt. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful, or unappreciative of the fact that I am able to stay home with my kids. I know that many working parents out there would do anything to stay at home with their kids. And I wish there was something I could do to enable them to do so.

I was initially going to retract my post just to make it all go away, but I'm not going to do that. Being an at home parent is my job, and there are times that people don't like their jobs. Maybe I shouldn't think of staying at home with my kids as a job, but quite honestly, sometimes I do. It is a job that I wouldn't give up if the opportunity to do so presented itself, but it is still a job. For all intents and purposes, I am responsible for my children 24/7, with an hour or two off on a weekend if my husband doesn't have to work. And I find it overwhelming and infinitely more stressful than any job I had outside the home.

I wish that when I have that hour to myself, I could enjoy it without feeling guilty because there was laundry that still needed to be folded, or floors to be cleaned, or kids to be read to. I know that the guilt stems from my own issues with perfectionism, but it is there nonetheless. So forgive me if I came off sounding ungrateful, because I am not. I am grateful every day that my husband can support us without a second salary. But there are days that I wish that I could be the one who goes off to work. And I'm not going to pretend that I love every minute of staying at home, because I don't.