Sunday, January 28, 2007

So where is the line?

Apparently I missed the mommy moment of the week on the Today Show last Friday, as it was cold and the kids didn't feel like getting out of their pajamas and so I skipped my bi-monthly trip to the gym yet again. But, never fear! I was soon brought up to speed by several friends and many, many blogs. Apparently, the whole "mommies who drink at playdates" thing is back, and Meredith Viera equated stay at home moms to babysitters. Clearly, I didn't watch the piece as I was putting together 100 piece puzzles and being cheered by my adoring preschooler public instead of plodding along on the treadmill, so take my summary with a grain of salt (or, considered it stirred, if you prefer your martini that way). But I have to assume that having heard the same story from multiple sources, it has to be at least somewhat accurate.

I must admit, I've always been a bit hesitant to have a cocktail when it has been offered up at a playdate. And I cringe at the rumors that flasks of margaritas get passed around the stands at weekend baseball games. But I've always been known as a bit of a stick in the mud, and just because I generally choose not to imbibe on a playdate doesn't mean that I judge those who do. Hell, if I did that I wouldn't have any friends. Seriously. I just generally choose to feed my Diet Coke addiction instead, and save my glass (or two) of wine for after the kids are in bed and I can actually sit down and relax. Because no matter how many glasses of wine I have, pushing swings and chasing kids around someone else's house is never going to be relaxing.

However! There is always a however! Let's assume for a moment that drinking while playdating is bad. Fine. But then where does the line get drawn? How about after the kids are in bed? Can a mommy have a drink then? Or how about at an evening party (say, a wedding or New Year's Eve) when there are children in attendance? How about with dinner? Are moms allowed to have a glass of wine with dinner?

And where, dare I ask, are the men in this equation? I don't see any segments on the Today Show about men who have a beer while watching a football game with their kids. Or a dad who has a drink while grilling up some food at the BBQ. Why is it socially acceptable for a man to have a drink but not a woman?

What do you think? Have you had a drink since your child was born? Did you, gasp, do it while they were awake? Or did you arrange for a babysitter to come and watch the children while you had your glass of wine?