Can you tell that I'm a bit snarky tonight?

What is the Republican obsession with red dresses? I'm just saying.

How does he plan to balance the budget without raising taxes? Is he cutting defense spending? That would be lovely.

Really, John McCain shouldn't wink. He looks a little scary in a "lecherous uncle" type of way when he winks.

Don't even get me started on the No Child Left Behind Act. Just don't. I will personally write letter upon letter against its reauthorization.

He can't say tax deduction. It took me a good five seconds to figure out what he was talking about. Or maybe it was the accent. Or perhaps is was the disconnect between the link between tax deductions and health insurance.

I have an itchy pimple on my face. Do you think I should put some money aside in my health savings plan for that?

I'm sorry, I missed the link between health insurance and immigration. Holy lack of transition Batman.

Yeah, doubling the border patrol will do wonders for building that human chain across Texas. But yet, we are a big melting pot of love...

Wait, now we are on energy. There is not a transitional sentence in this whole speech. I should have been a speech writer.

Clean coal? Nuclear power? Yeah. And it is not VeHIC-cule. It's just not. But I am all for improving fuel economy standards.

Nancy Pelosi is licking her lips quite a bit. I think she might even be biting her tongue.

Whoops, on to the judicial system now.

And, on to homeland security. I think I have whiplash.

Cheney needs to work on his posture. Maybe it is all that time huddled in an undisclosed location.

Still on homeland security. And Iraq. I'm tuning out a bit here, forgive me.

I think McCain is falling asleep. There seem to be a lot of sleepy faces in the audience. Or maybe it is just me.

Still on Iraq. I'm not going to comment. See? I can hold my tongue. Really, I can.

People in Iraq do want to live in peace, I am sure. Which is oh so possible with hundreds of thousands of US troops wandering around. Sorry, I was supposed to be holding my tongue.

How many times do you think he is going to invoke the memory of 9/11?

Still on Iraq. Clearly, this is a speech on domestic issues.

Baby Einstein? In the State of the Union? Kudos for all her good work, but really, not very relevant to the running of the country.

Go forth with confidence. The State of the Union is strong.