I swear this will never, ever be funny

You know how the furnace guy was coming today to do the annual furnace inspection? And I made that joke about a furnace older than I am? Turns out, the furnace actually IS older than I am. By a lot. And that furnace? Kicks carbon monoxide into the house. And those carbon monoxide alarms I bought? They don't seem to work. I guess the upside is that my miserly ways saved us all from carbon monoxide poisoning. The downside? We are going to be very cold for the next several days and we have to buy a new furnace and carbon monoxide detectors.

Oh, and the hot water heater? It's, well, not so hot. But we might get a year out of it. Or it might croak tomorrow. God, I just LOVE home ownership.