Monday, July 31, 2006

It's a nice voice...

I have spent much of the past week listening to myself talk, but apparently I am the only person listening. For example, today, after I mopped the front stairs, I very clearly said "Stairs are wet. Do not go up. You will fall." Pretty much just like that, in a loud "do not argue with me" voice. Both kids nodded. I headed to the sink to dump the dirty water. In the three seconds my back was turned, not one but two children headed straight up the wet stairs. And then right back down again on their backs.

After ascertaining that there were no broken bones, etc, etc, etc, I very calmly asked "And what did I just tell you about the stairs?" Both children looked at me blankly. "Did I not just tell you that they were wet and not to go up?" Shrugs all around. Finally C piped up with a "I needed my lunch box. For the trip to Maine." Which is in five days.

I don't know why I even bother to issue warnings. I can scream "Car, car car" in a parking lot, and C will look right through me and the oncoming car. I can say "There will be no TV until the playroom is picked up, and everyone will continue to sit on the couch staring at the blank TV asking where Dragon Tales is. My favorite, "It is time for breakfast/lunch/dinner," which you would think would send kids running for the table, is ignored until I take the food and put it back in the fridge. At which point there are whines and tantrums to end all whines and tantrums.

Is it just me? Am I the only one who hears what I say? Because if I am, I'll just shut up. I mean, I like the sound of my own voice, but not that much.