Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Starting Over

There is something about moving that brings out the best of intentions in me. As we wandered around our new empty house for three hours during the structural inspection, I found myself making more resolutions than I did at New Years.

"When we move I'll be able to cook while interacting with the kids" I thought. But will I really? Or are the habits already established of the kids murdering each while I frantically stir fry to entrenched? I would like to think that someday they'll hang with me in the kitchen and chat, but for now I'll settle for being able to tell who is beating up on whom.

As I was cleaning out the cabinets in our current house to make them look spacious, I debated whether to keep or toss the waffle maker, which has been used only once since I purchased it a year ago. I thought "Well, in the new house there is so much accessible storage, I'll be able to find the waffle maker at the drop of a hat, so of course I will make waffles instead of buying the frozen ones at Trader Joe's." Umm, yeah. Even I know that one will quickly fall by the wayside. And if you believed it for a second you clearly don't know me all that well. But yet the waffle maker still made it into the "to keep" box. Just in case.

I have also found myself thinking "I will be able to play more with my kids because the house will be less cluttered." And "I will be happier because there is more sunlight in the playroom and kitchen." And "We will play in the backyard more because the deck is so nice." My favorite is "A will sleep through the night because I will be able to put her bed in a better location and the floors won't squeak as much."

While hopefully some of these dreams and wishes will come true (like the more sun=happy me), many of them are just plain unrealistic. Like moving will help A sleep. Yeah, right. But I keep coming up with more and more outrageous reasons to make the move seem like the best. thing. ever. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled we are moving. But will a new house really fix the many things that get me down during the day? I don't really think so. That doesn't seem to keep me from building more and more unrealistic fantasies about how wonderful our life will be post move, however.