Thursday, January 12, 2006

Twice as Nice

After C was born M and I weren't sure whether we really wanted a second child or not. A second child meant leaving the city. A second child meant that I would have no other choice than to be a stay-at-home-mom as my income could never cover the cost of childcare for two. A second child meant another two plus years of limited sleep. We discussed and rehashed and discussed some more, but finally reached the conclusion that while it had its ups and downs, we were both very glad that we had siblings. And thus, A came to be. Now we can't imagine life without her, but before she was even an appleseed like object in my stomach it was hard to imagine the joy she would bring.

One day last winter C insisted he wanted to play outside but I didn't have appropriate winter attire for A. As a compromise, I bundled him up and then sat on the sun porch watching him trudge sadly around the yard while I nursed A. "This is why we had two," I thought. "In a few years A will be out there playing with him and he won't be alone."

Today we met several friends at the park. All the children C's age were girls and, like girls tend to do, they started playing "girl games" and refused to include C in a rather mean way. He wandered slowly off by himself to find a stick and practice his letters. All of a sudden a small purple object came flying at him and gave him a big hug. C smiled and hugged A back and then they concocted an elaborate game of their own. I never quite got the rules but the two of them giggled and chased and giggled some more and an afternoon on its way to a teary conclusion became fun again.

When we got back into the car at the end of the afternoon C sighed happily. "It's nice to be part of a family Mommy. Families love each other and it is nice to be loved." A reached over and held C's hand "Dove C," she pronounced and the two of them held hands for about thirty seconds. Then they started arguing over what TV show to watch after dinner and the love fest that had made me shed a few tears turned into a sibling battle of gargantuan proportions. And I wondered once again why I had decided to procreate at all...