Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Letter to my children

Dear Adorable, Lovable, and Wondrous Children,

Although I love you both very much, I feel the need to have a little chat about a few things.

5 am is not an hour our household stirs from bed in the morning. Sorry. Until you are old enough to pour your own cereal and turn on the TV to watch cartoons, please pick an hour at which the sun has actually risen to call my name at the top of your lungs.

The cats were here before you. Even though they have been sorely neglected since your arrival, I cannot allow you to drive them out of our house. They are excellent mouse killers and I have a deep-seeded fear of rodents. If you pull the cats' tails one more time I will permit them to retaliate.

I love reading you books, I really do. But I cannot possibly read Cat in the Hat or Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You for the seven hundredth time today. I just can't.

Mommy's watch is the official time piece of our household. You can change the hands on the other clocks as much as you wish, but what my watch says goes.

While I may have the final say when it comes to time, I do not control the weather, the other cars on the road or the line at the supermarket. Nor do I control the local supermarket's supply of mini-pancakes.

While I admit that pizza is a gift from above, we cannot eat it every night of the week. I have to a least make an effort to serve balanced meals. I am in fact a decent cook if you even tried a bite of what is placed in front of you.

Everyone must take baths when covered in pizza sauce, yogurt, and finger paint. While I may not win the mommy of the year award in the cleanliness department, I do have standards. That is one of them.

I hope that when you have children of your own, they bring you as much joy as you bring me. I also hope they have as good a grasp on the usage of the words "but why?" as you do.

Love and Kisses,